Noise...

It has been quite a while since I wrote my last blog. There has been this debate in my mind for the last few days - it is actually like a subtle background noise for everything am doing of late. I wanted to get this out of my mind and hence this attempt :-)

It is actually a sequence of questions that led to this 'noise'. For example, while reading a book, these are the questions that led to the 'noise' come to foreground:

1) What is the purpose of life?
Answer - no idea

2) What am I doing?
Answer - reading this book

3) Why am I doing this?
Answer - To get some knowledge and kill off time as am getting bored

4) Why are you getting bored?
Answer - I have not figured out what else to do

5) OK. Why do you want to get some knowledge?
Answer - I have always had this affinity to books. May be as a kid I learnt reading books / getting knowledge might help later in life.

6) That still does not answer that question to the point?
Answer - OK. It is for getting some benefit later in life.

7) Why are you planning for this benefit when you know nothing can be predicted about future?
No Answer really :)

8) OK. If it is for some benefit today or whenever, what does it lead to?
Answer - I would be happy.

9) Why do you want to be happy?
!!!!!

This is precisely where am getting stuck and not able to proceed after this.

I brought it up with Abi and we had a conversation this morning discussing the answer. She simply said "Happiness is the way life tends to be. If you just leave any life without disturbing it, that is what it will tend towards."

Somehow that answer made sense but at the same time I still had the incomplete feeling with it. Then I brought up the discussion about perfection. Are we tending towards happiness because we are tending towards perfection? May be we have some idea that being happy is equivalent to being perfect?

Abi was not convinced with that and we kept discussing till we realized it was getting late to office and pay my taxes. So all the 'noise' again went into background and we were running behind tax payment today being the last day for it :-)

Now that I got some free time, I was idly browsing the internet and sure enough the noise came to foreground. This time, I have decided to write it down and see if something more comes to mind, at least after this. Ain't I being optimistic? :-)

Weekend Blues

For most people, a weekend brings lot of smiles and relief. It did for most part for me too, until last weekend when not a single thing went our way - starting with a phone call.

Tony, our Construction Engineer, called up to say that the water bore's motor & hose pipe broke and got stuck in the mud. Well that could happen in Coimbatore it seems, where people dig water bore pumps of depth >400 feet usually. He, along with 10 other people, had tried all night to get it out. They were able to recover a bundle which happened to be just the smaller one among the two broken pieces. Tony was more upset than us. We have asked him to take it light and focus on the remaining things with the house. Still to find a solution for this ...

On Friday night, Abi and I had a huge argument. I was so visibly upset that I just took off from home despite all the rain outside. I went for a drive in my car and filled petrol. I was still angry when I returned home while my car got stuck in the mud right before the garage. There was a ditch dug by the maintenance department and as is customary in India, it was not filled properly. The more tricks I tried, the more it got stuck. Only in the morning we were able to see clearly that the front portion of the car is resting on the ditch pavement and the wheels were just rotating pointlessly throwing up more mud. Fortunately, by about 4 PM, with the help of so many friends and a couple of car mechanics we lifted it using two car jacks, placed a few stones beneath the tires for grip and were able to reverse it out. Phew, that was quite a drainer, first the fight and then getting the car out ...

Anyway in the evening, we had to confirm the contents of our house warming ceremony invitation and since there was no rain on Saturday, we went to Menaka cards right away. That was done and we started our return journey home when all of a sudden, our bike just skidded off road. I was the driver and Abi was at the back - we both just fell. Fortunately, there were no big vehicles coming that route though it is usually full with cars by that time. I landed on all fours and injured my right hand. Abi scraped through minor injuries luckily. The pain did not subside for an hour and the doctor finally confirmed what we suspected. The palm bone had a crack and my right hand is supposed to be out of action for two weeks at least.

Well .. this might not be related to luck at all, but definitely qualifies as one of the most fantastic series of unfortunate events in my life! Why would I bother to document all this typing with my left hand only all this while? :-)